i never knew i could feel that much

i hurt so much, and i don't even know why. i'm crying, and i don't even
know why, or maybe i don't want to admit it? yes, that must be it,
afraid of admittance, acceptance, and being unwanted. unloved
can be thrown in there too.
weed over me, weed over them, but never you.
i never wanted this, i never wanted to write like this either, but that's
completely irrelevant. i never wanted to need someone, or anyone,
luckily it's not that bad. i just feel like shit right now.
it's recently come to my attention, it's not that i don't like her,
she's never done me wrong. but you have. you're really the
one who always fucks me over, even though she's the one who fucks
you over, time and time again.
all i can say is, i hope no one that i ever fall for in the future will find this,
i wouldn't want to make someone feel like i do.
I don't wanna fall asleep 'cause I don't know if I'll get up, and
I don't wanna 'cause a scene, but I'm dyin' without your love.