past fucking tense.
past fucking tense.
past fucking tense.
past fucking tense.
past fucking tense.
past fucking tense.
past fucking tense.
past fucking tense.
past fucking tense.
past fucking tense.
past fucking tense.
past fucking tense.
past fucking tense.
past fucking tense.
past fucking tense.
past fucking tense.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Over playgrounds and rooftops.
Give me your heart and your soul, I’m breaking out. Last chance to lose control.
Monday, April 13, 2009
who am i? you sure you want to know?
i dont really know what to write about now, not being on here as much -or at all really- for so long. my mind's come to a blank, and i just feel slightly... not empty, but like i have nothing of importance to write of. nothing that i can write in such a permanent environment at least. that's the thing about the Internet, once its here, its here. even if i deleted the post, if someone spent long enough trying to find it, and knew what they were doing, they could find it. if they really wanted to. that's what's so great about paper, possibly, and probably why i prefer a journal. no backspace button to change original ideas, and if i really detested something enough to get rid of it, i could. rip it up, put it in a shredder, and after a short amount of time, its gone, and no one,
no one could find it. i'm not sure what to think anymore, i'm slightly more or less confused, about everything really. who to like, who to trust, what to like, what to think, etc. so i've settled on not thinking about much. that's not as bad as it sounds, i'm thinking, but i don't like to think too hard about things. meaning, if it doesn't come easily, then maybe i shouldn't be thinking about it? i honestly don't know if that makes any sense to anyone, but then again, maybe that's why its a good thing that so few people are reading this.
no one could find it. i'm not sure what to think anymore, i'm slightly more or less confused, about everything really. who to like, who to trust, what to like, what to think, etc. so i've settled on not thinking about much. that's not as bad as it sounds, i'm thinking, but i don't like to think too hard about things. meaning, if it doesn't come easily, then maybe i shouldn't be thinking about it? i honestly don't know if that makes any sense to anyone, but then again, maybe that's why its a good thing that so few people are reading this.
Monday, April 6, 2009
I'm at the point where i don't know what to do.
chaptertwo...
Henry Ford, obviously invented the Ford car line. When his mother died in 1876(she was only 37) Henry was devastated. He was also only 13 years old. He hated the farm work, and only stayed there for his mother. At some point in time he told his dad "I never had any particular love for the farm—it was the mother on the farm I loved.".
Three years later (he was then 16) he left the farm to apprentice a mechanic in Detroit. I could continue with facts that most would find pointless for a while, but as much as i don't exactly think it would be pointless, it could, and likely would be tres boring.
The main point that i am attempting to get through here, is that it doesn't matter what you wear, what your labeled, or what your fucking popularity status is. As long as your happy, happy with what your doing, happy with who your with, happy with life in general. Currently i'm not happy, i'm cheerful, i put up a good front, but i'm not exactly sure when i was most recently happy, for a decent period of time at least.
Henry Ford was happy working with machinery, such as cars, watches, steam engines, etc.
Another point, is that how the little things effect the world, and everyone included. If it weren't for his mother dieing, chances are, Henry wouldn't have left the farm to apprentice. Thus leaving us without Ford cars, trucks, etc. Most likely at least. Think of that? We're all well aware that Ford is not the only automobile company, but it's well known. Though, if he hadn't made his cars, than maybe other companies wouldn't have either.
Also, it means that we can't go through the good, without the bad, even if it's worst comes to worst.
Henry Ford, obviously invented the Ford car line. When his mother died in 1876(she was only 37) Henry was devastated. He was also only 13 years old. He hated the farm work, and only stayed there for his mother. At some point in time he told his dad "I never had any particular love for the farm—it was the mother on the farm I loved.".
Three years later (he was then 16) he left the farm to apprentice a mechanic in Detroit. I could continue with facts that most would find pointless for a while, but as much as i don't exactly think it would be pointless, it could, and likely would be tres boring.
The main point that i am attempting to get through here, is that it doesn't matter what you wear, what your labeled, or what your fucking popularity status is. As long as your happy, happy with what your doing, happy with who your with, happy with life in general. Currently i'm not happy, i'm cheerful, i put up a good front, but i'm not exactly sure when i was most recently happy, for a decent period of time at least.
Henry Ford was happy working with machinery, such as cars, watches, steam engines, etc.
Another point, is that how the little things effect the world, and everyone included. If it weren't for his mother dieing, chances are, Henry wouldn't have left the farm to apprentice. Thus leaving us without Ford cars, trucks, etc. Most likely at least. Think of that? We're all well aware that Ford is not the only automobile company, but it's well known. Though, if he hadn't made his cars, than maybe other companies wouldn't have either.
Also, it means that we can't go through the good, without the bad, even if it's worst comes to worst.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
i dont know what your looking for, i said i bet that you look good on the dancefloor.
Well... its a good thing i never liked portobello mushrooms.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
once upon a time...
Excuse me, but the last time i checked, juggling 3 relationships at once was a bad thing. As far as i know, that would label you as a slut, but for some reason that doesn't seem to fit. Even in my eyes. Doing things like this aren't supposed to help, they aren't supposed to work out in the end. So why do they? Why do some people get it all, leaving the others with nothing?
I'm just so sick of living my life around every one else. So fucking sick of it. And in a way, shes right, I don't want to waste my time waiting around to be wanted once again, I just don't know what else to do at the moment. So, I'll do this, just for now, to see what happens.
I'm just so sick of living my life around every one else. So fucking sick of it. And in a way, shes right, I don't want to waste my time waiting around to be wanted once again, I just don't know what else to do at the moment. So, I'll do this, just for now, to see what happens.
THE END.
Not permanently, but for now. This fucking thread is living my life, and I hate it, and thus, I am done. Not for good, no, but for now. I may be back in a month or so, just to see what comes to mind. Fuck, I'll likely be back in a week or two, but nothing will be posted, nothing will be written, nothing new will be read. This line of work, these lines of words, are done. The emotionless letters and words, I'm just so fucking done with it all.
Monday, March 2, 2009
I lose my sense of wrong and right, I cry, I cry.
So, sorry I did whatever it was I did that caused this to end.
So sorry that I wasn't good enough to keep this going.
I apologize for not being good enough.
Maybe if I was, this damned inanimate father wouldn't be so inanimate.
Maybe I wouldn't be off following the girl who's busy following nova.
Sorry I don't have the perfect body proportions as her, or the perfect hair,
Although I do know that has little, or none to do with this, it still comes to mind.
Maybe if I was just a little bit better, I wouldn't have gone to 10 different schools
In 14 years.
Maybe I would be part of the group of friends that had pictures before kindergarten '00.
Maybe I wouldn't have friends coming and going as they please,
Because maybe, just maybe I would be worth a dime in their books.
If I was better, maybe I wouldn't have developed this damned eating disorder,
Or these horrid smoking habits.
I wouldn't be being offered jobs of prostitution, and nude photographs.
I wouldn't be considering to take them either.
Maybe if I was a better kid, I'd be good enough,
not sure good enough for who, but I would be good enough.
Maybe she wouldn't be curious, or knowing to whome, or what, this is about,
And I wouldn't be high jacking this little quote here saying these exact words
Maybe I would be in bed, and I wouldn't have this dead buzz of alcohol.
Been black and blue before
There’s no need to explain
I am not the jaded kind
Playback’s such a waste
You’re invisible
Invisible to me
My wish is coming true
Erase the memory of your face
So sorry that I wasn't good enough to keep this going.
I apologize for not being good enough.
Maybe if I was, this damned inanimate father wouldn't be so inanimate.
Maybe I wouldn't be off following the girl who's busy following nova.
Sorry I don't have the perfect body proportions as her, or the perfect hair,
Although I do know that has little, or none to do with this, it still comes to mind.
Maybe if I was just a little bit better, I wouldn't have gone to 10 different schools
In 14 years.
Maybe I would be part of the group of friends that had pictures before kindergarten '00.
Maybe I wouldn't have friends coming and going as they please,
Because maybe, just maybe I would be worth a dime in their books.
If I was better, maybe I wouldn't have developed this damned eating disorder,
Or these horrid smoking habits.
I wouldn't be being offered jobs of prostitution, and nude photographs.
I wouldn't be considering to take them either.
Maybe if I was a better kid, I'd be good enough,
not sure good enough for who, but I would be good enough.
Maybe she wouldn't be curious, or knowing to whome, or what, this is about,
And I wouldn't be high jacking this little quote here saying these exact words
Maybe I would be in bed, and I wouldn't have this dead buzz of alcohol.
Been black and blue before
There’s no need to explain
I am not the jaded kind
Playback’s such a waste
You’re invisible
Invisible to me
My wish is coming true
Erase the memory of your face
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