January 7/2009 10:48pm
Nights like these i just want to kill myself. Baby's screams in the background- except, ya know, the baby monitor is barely 5 fucking ft away. So its more like baby screaming in my ear. Adding the horrible pounding feeling you get when a bad headache gets worse.
Hating my life. Hating my friends. Hating my family.
Obviously i'm not wanted anywhere, especially not here. We fight about the fucking dumbest shit. I got yelled at for going to school today. For fucking going to school. I feel useless, abandoned, pathetic. Failing at one of the few things I like to do. Getting yelled at for not knowing how to do fucking shit. Well i'm sorry i never learned. Sorry no one ever took the fucking time to lend 30 seconds to teach me. So fucking sorry i wasn't the perfect baby, perfect teenager, perfect person in general. Never was. Always fucking failing everything. I'm pretty sure i've never been the best at anything either. No, i know i haven't.
Sorry.
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