Today I heard that someone left this earth, That someone disappeared left no mark here.

79 days.
79 days of holding everything in.
Its too many days of depression, aggravation, sadness to happiness,
its just too many. Too much of refusing to let anything out,
to breathe in some fresh, clean air, to actually trust anyone with
the things going through my mind, even myself.
I can't believe i actually thought i could handle all of this,
its obvious i was completely wrong.
Its funny how much trust i put into others, how sure i am
that they won't fall through.
Its funny how wrong i am.
Spending longer than i would have thought possible
for myself getting ready, all just to be let down.
Happy fucking New Years. While you're out there with your friends,
making memories that i doubt you will remember,
guess what i was doing?
Guess what i spent the last day of possibly the worst year yet doing.
Even though i was so determined to make this night make up for the
suicides, from the eating disorders, to the friend losses.
What a loser eh? I spent the last night of the year curled up in bed,
crying.
Hating life, new years included, but mostly new years,
although hating myself was included, so i zoomed in on that.
Telling myself things i new would hurt, words i new would burn
holes in my mind, and put cuts my wrists,
letting the ruby red blood flow freely.
Staining the outfit i so proudly put together,
ruining the sheets to the carpets.
No wonder you're here alone, no one ever wanted to fucking waste their time with you.
Useless. Pathetic. Unwanted.
So happy fucking New Years. Some friends i have, all out having fun,
getting wasted, leaving myself completely forgotten about.
Well... dont you have any other friends you could hang out with?
Ha. I allmost smirked, what friends? The ones that either completely
forgot about me, or the ones that didn't forget, just didn't care?
Today I heard that someone just got up and left himself
Lying on the ground.