You Dance Like a Queen, Despite of All The Things You Never Wanted.

Jealousy hits hard as she runs after Blondie.
Hard like the concrete smashing
at that meth addicts head. I know its pathetic, but i'm at
the point where i don't even care.
Well, that's a lie, i do care, allot. Its ridiculous how much
of an impact T. has on me. On these horrible
emotions burning inside me. I already know how
much she cares, if shes willing to lay with me, cradle my
tears, and hold me strong enough to stop the shaking, she must care,
she must. She wants him to rot in hell for what he did to me,
but she doesn't understand it. He already is, its a living hell walking
through each day on Earth. He's allready living his hell, as are most of us.
I need to read more, it helps my writing, gives me words i never
knew i had. I crave happiness, its healthy for my art,
tears smudge my pictures. But i refuse to let my potential be
flushed down the toilet. No pun intended 'eh babe?
I want to scream out loud. Scream at myself for all the horrible
thoughts going through my mind, that built up this
big ugly wall of protection. Waitta go girl, now you're
stuck and theres no getting out. These concrete walls are 10ft.
tall and i'm stuck inside of this little box. Theres nothing left to
do but cowar in a dark corner, hide from the world,
hide from my mistakes. Looking through a
shoebox of memories, peices of time that somehow slipped my
mind in the past year or so slowly start to come back to me.
I miss those days of bliss, and happiness, having a smile
painted on my face.
The good 'ole days truely never end, just fade slightly bit by bit.
"An English 11 classroom. Girls, have you ever been out there, sucking off
and old man's prick, seeing the ugliness behind the concealing blackness,
legs tottering on heels? It frightens you too much, doesn't it, the men
stopping and the woman bending over, needing money to pay for the fleeting
happiness that all of us snatch at: that one thread in the neon darkness.
When the cars stopped you always hoped it would be different, that somebody
would step out and hold you and stop the shaking."