November 16/2008
I'm amazed that last night's 'overdose' as
Kaitlyn called it, is still in my system. i'm not shaking,
no that's long over with. my stomach could
explode at any given minute though, with what exactly
i'm not. i've been awake since 7am-its 2pm now.
all i've eaten today is half an apple, which i couldn't even
finish without feeling sick to my stomach,
a cup of coffee at 8, and 4 little individual crackers.
Bobby Joe just came 'round offering might-as-well-be plastic cheese,
figured "what the hell, i can't feel any worse," .
I fear posting this up, knowing that from here out
she knows my every thought, without even wanting to.
its not like i don't want her knowing,
i love knowing she cares actually, but knowing how
much these things hurt her i dread. the fact that my
words brought tears to her eyes was the worst
feeling imaginable. tears that still drip sore, tearing her apart
bit by bit, but broke me instantly.
what i wrote caused that reaction, that reaction made me cringe.
making her feel like a horrible person, a horrible girlfriend.
my horrible girlfriend.
babe, you're so wrong, you are so amazing beyond words.
i still cant believe that you have feelings for a girl like me.
what you said that night, 'i lo...' i still can't even
write it. writing those 3 beautiful words would make it true,
accepted, make me vulnerable,
more that i think i can handle.
i'm afraid to be loved, i put in too much trust too soon,
trust it always broken too soon.
i'm not afraid to trust you babe,
i'm afraid to feel this way about someone, i've never had these feelings,
this feeling of needing.
dry your tears babe, no one wants to see you cry no more,
dry your tears babe, i don't wanna see you hurt no more.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment