Every day i sit here waiting, every day just seems so long.

blood pouring like little red, murderous raindrops.
blades scraping at skin like there's no tomorrow,
hacking away at old memories, just to create new ones.
wanting, needed, pleading to feel something, anything at all.
this endless sorrow hes helped you create is too much.
you want a new pain, one that has nothing to do with him,
something self inflicted.
It's almost a source of independence really.
shooting yourself before he gets the chance,
if given the chance would he take it?
definitely, he wants you here as much as you do.
there's another way to look at this,
this pain your inflicting upon yourself is nothing new.
after all, the only thing you feel these days, besides the rain down your neck,
is the pain he's caused you.
sure-its only emotional, but you're only human,
you'll forget about his tricks, and let it happen all over again.
better make physical pain, just to make sure you never forget.
of course, he'll never know, no one will, everyone will forget,
forget about the pain, and suffering- forget about you completely.
lets make it final babe, pop those pills like candy, drink your booze like soda,
take a nap and never wake, forever dreaming.
life never seemed to real for you, too many mixed emotions,
too many people, too many places, too much for you, just one big horrible dream.
maybe death wouldn't be so bad, you always liked dreaming,
hopefully these dreams will be better.