they'll tear us apart if you give them the chance.

I'm sick of this life, and the people that surround me in it.
I'm sick of being told what to do,
And given the responsibility of someone over my age,
and yet being treated like a five year old.
Scratch that, i'd be lucky to have that kind of treatment.
I'm sick of drugs, and alcohol,
Smoking and sex.
Its all a combination of revolution.
It sucks.
I'm sick of people, i'm sick of choices,
I'm sick of having to make them.
Making the right, or wrong one, i'm sick of it all.
I'm sick of life, and 99% of the people in it.
99% of the idiotic people who don't know right from wrong,
Smart from dumb,
Drugs from fun.
So many bright lights to cast a shadow
But can I speak?
Well is it hard understanding I'm incomplete
A life that's so demanding I get so weak
A love that's so demanding I can't speak

I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
Honey if you stay, I'll be forgiven
Nothing you could say can stop me going home

"It's called a BREAK-UP because it's BROKEN"

ѕнαєℓєєєℓιzαвєтн ♫(On my new computer!) says (3:15 PM):
I realised i really hate my girlfriends bestfriend, which is weird, because i don't believe in hating, its a waiste of emotion, i just get angry when i look at her, and severely jelous. This is because my girlfriend used to be inlove with her, but now she claims she doesn't, but i dont beleive her. I was, at some point, able to squeeze the fact out of her that she does, truly still like her, but I believe that she still loves her, actually i'm 98% positive that she does, and thus, i hate her bestfriend, which makes things severely complecated. I dont really hate her actually, theres completely nothing wrong with her as a person, if this were any other circumstance, say i met her at walmart, we could have been good friends. I just hate what she represents. And honestly, i just want to yell at someone right now, go have a smoke, and take some e
Keke says (3:17 PM):
well, if she likes her best friend still and she WANTS to get over her, she has no choice but to let her go until she is over her. but that's only if she's wlling. I'm guessing you're not the type of person to ask this of her though.
ѕнαєℓєєєℓιzαвєтн ♫(On my new computer!) says (3:18 PM):
No, i'm not, and it would be useless anyways...

the candles are lit and the clothes on the floor.

the twenty-second

Oh, thank God. Mr. Flutie got off the couch. And Marcus and i finally fucked.

Would you prefer a prettier phase, like made sweet love? Well, that's not what we did. Marcus might argue that we're in love, so we're always making love-even when we're just plain ol'-fashioned fucking. Yes, even with my limited experience, i know there's a difference. And if you don't know what it is, well, i feel sorry for you.

pg. 31.

Did anyone try to hard, well i guess i did

She was an innocent soul with a love of art that turned into a drugged up mess mixed with suicide and smokes.

When was the last time you talked to me? Seriously I feel like I don't even know you

Why do people walk when in a bad mood? People want to think,
and for some odd reason, every human being thinks this is only
possible when alone.
So people walk to think when in a bad mood, people walk alone.
Which is ridiculous, being alone when in a bad mood
is like adding the fuel to the fire. I know this from personal experience.
But still, every time, given the choice between being around people,
and thinking alone, 99.9% of the time, people will choose to be alone.
Its a sense of control, "I'm choosing to be alone..."
Even though while telling the world to be left alone,
once turned around, and walking away, typically,
most people are still hoping that someone will come stop them.
And yet, still most people will walk away.
Why is it life is so complicated, and torn apart at every given moment.
you're never gonna get it with nothing
cause nothing's what you got in your head
so stop pretending

'You're so brutal to those who love you, Scarlett. You take their love and hold it over their heads like a whip.'

So... Yes, she is a better influence on me, and yes,
she does actually like to talk,
and she refuses to let anyone be sad, which is good,
but shes not you.Shes not you, and i don't want her.
I want someone that i love, and that's you.
I'm starting to know what you meant when you said
that the whole jealousy show was going on for too long.
I tried to stop, or at least not you know how bad it was,
because i didn't want you to know how
much you were hurting me. But it seems right now,
you don't exactly seem to care about that right now.
You don't seem to notice how bothersome it gets
whenever you bring her up. Whenever you bring it up,
as if you think anything could actually happen,
Even though we both know nothing would.
I'm just... i'm getting so sick of this always coming up,
I don't want our relationship evolving around her.
Everyone always says that soon enough in a relationship,
someone will start acting different, stop trying, and i'm scared.
Because, well... honestly it almost seems allot like that lately.
And... well, I don't want to lose this.

Did I get your attention?
'Cause I'm sending all the signs

That the clocking is ticking
And I'll be giving my two weeks
Pick your favorite shade of black
You'd best prepare a speech

Say something funny
Say something sweet
But don't say that you loved me

... Maybe I was too pale
Maybe I was too fat

... I swore too much
But i swear you didn't care
'Cause we were in love

I'm talking gibberish, tip of the tongue but I can't deliver it

Why do people put themselves through things that in any other
circumstance they wouldn't be able to to handle?
People think that they're stronger than
they really are, and when they realise that they're not, their egos
are too large to let anyone realise what they're really going through.
People these days are pathetic, they don't want to be wrong, no,
people have always been pathetic, they've never wanted to be wrong.
On the odd chance there may be someone who's ego wont be too large
for emotion to slip through the cracks. But that person may also
let too much slip out, only because their ego will be so small that they
will need the attention of everyone.
In which case, in my eyes, they are still pathetic.
Why do people think that they're stronger than they are?
Why is it people will curl up in small little frail balls from pain that they
have no logical reason for. And yet when inflicted with the same pain
that is completely their fault, they will stand tall and strong.
And instead of wishing that it would get better
Man you're seeing that you just get angrier

And it's good that I'm not angry I just need to get over
I'm not angry, anymore

Very entertaining, but its over now

Life is like a story.
Screw the box of chocolate metaphor, good or bad,
black and white. There's shades, such as gray, and everything
in between. Gray, like foggy clouds, like the ones
fogging up my mind in this big puddle of confusion.
So, life is like a story.
Say you have a story about butterflies, nice pretty butterflies.
Then, out of nowhere the author will throw in a paragraph or so
about tigers.
So, obviously your pretty confused, but you don't mind, tigers
aren't too bad, sure they have sharp claws, and baring teeth,
but they're cute enough.
Throughout the rest of the story the author will randomly state
a matter of fact statement about tigers.
'A tiger is capable of jumping to almost twice its height.',
or
'When hunting large prey, tigers prefer to bite
the throat and use their forelimbs to hold onto the prey,
bringing it to the ground.'
So in the end you have a slight curiosity about tigers that
you don't exactly care for.
You were perfectly fine with the innocent butterflies.
'Many species of butterfly maintain territories and actively
chase other species or individuals that may stray into them.'
Life is like a story, sometimes you regret the book in your fingers.
Sometimes you love the book clenched in your hands,
and refuse to let go.
But every book has an ending, but that doesn't mean you
can't read it again.
Take a little look at the life of Miss Always Invisible
Look a little closer, I really really want you to put yourself in her shoes
Take another look at the face of Miss Always Invisible
Look a little harder and maybe then you will see why she waits for the day
When you'll ask her her name

running in circles, you don't even care that you're going nowhere.

Standing behind a counter flipping the original fat filled patty,
at the age of 45, at one of the not so new
Harvey's planted in a hardware store to feed those
tired after a long day of linen and carpet shopping.
I can honestly state that this must be one of my biggest fears,
end my life in one of the numerous home towns i grew up in.
I dont want the be the mother of one of my past tense best friends,
starting out a part time job at the age of 17, turned full time
job 30 years later. Weekends included also in just another fast food
restaurant. It actually physically pains me too see the potential
wasted, to see the gray hairs grow year after year.
I'm sure she never planned this, i'm sure she never planned on
retiring at the age of 56 at Harvey's.
I'm sure of this because i know no one would plan that.
She likely had some big dreams, leave this small town, make it big,
but something stopped her along the way.
If you really think about it, a persons personal value is only about
83 cents, 50 years back it was around 67, but prices have gone up
over the years. Then again, i'm sure if you had some sort of
value with you, your personal value would go up too.
A diamond ring maybe, something fancy in, or on your hair.
Whoever said "looks aren't everything," was obviously blind.
Go to school, if you look bad, then no one will talk to you,
take a weekly trip to the mall looking 'bad'...scratch that,
if you do take a weekly trip to the closest mall, then you wont
look 'bad'.
Since day one i was taught beauty is pain, age of 5 i sat myself down
for about 3 or so hours to have my hair
- which was much, much too long- brushed, and braided
individually. I'm sure i cried, i was just a bit of a wuss for pain,
but in the sake of beauty, it was worth it.
Its a shame really what you'll do to look 'good'.
And by you, i mean we, and by we i really mean me.
Can we get away?
Far away...
Let’s leave this place
Will you come with me?
Are you down...
To turn your world around
Its you and me tonight...
Leave it all behind
Let’s go for a ride...

but i'm tired of the lying, tired of fighting you.

Chances are, in your lifetime you haven't spent much time thinking about Immanuel Kant. This is likely because of the fact he was an 18th century philosopher from Germany. He spent most of his time thinking, instead of watching television, this is partially because of the fact that living the the 18th century, didn't involve television to watch. He had this idea that if the brain could only think in a form of causality -which he was later able to prove correct- then we are able to know, before even testing an object, that it must have some sort of cause, or reason for being there. This also meant that everyone had some reason or another for being here, this would make anyone feel pretty damned important to know that they were good for something. To know we have a purpose for being here. The main problem is that most people never find out this reason for being here, we're all either too busy planting our faces in front of television cassettes. Those that aren't pay too little attention to see the amazing things happening around them. Muriel Rukeyser once said "The universe is made up of stories, not of atoms". Its a nice thought, maybe every one's purpose is to create a story, every one a little different.

She bleeds and she cries but shes only denied.

For the first time in her life she can feel hunger scratching at her insides. She doesn't like it, she tries to fight it, oh she tries to fight it. But she loses the internal battle with herself. For the first time in her life she can't even think straight because of the pains occurring inside of her. Searching the cupboards but she's denied, told not to eat past ten pm, its bad for her body, it'll make her fat. For once she actually needs someone to talk to, but of course the one person she needs is out of site, just for the moment of course. So she sits in a dark, and lonely corner, clutching at her sides, once again. Trying to hold her body shut from breaking apart from the pains occurring in her stomach. Nails are digging into her skin, once again, but this time there's no one there to save her. No one to hold her tight through all of the shaking, to hold her hand as she attempts to hide the cries. She's all alone in the world, just for the moment, and she knows it, but at the moment, she's still very, very alone.

And we could sit around and cry but frankly your not worth it anymore.

Staring down the drain, causing a flash back of nearly 9 months ago,
or an immense feeling of deja vu. This shouldn't be happening,
i shouldn't be here in this place, alone on a cold bathroom floor. Girls
shouldn't be wasting their teen years in depression, and suicide,
no one should. So you're likely thinking to yourself,
asking yourself if she did, even though you already know the
answer. Shes sorry, and you know it, but she just cant stand looking
the the mirror everyday, and hating herself for it. Wiping tears
away almost every time she sees her bare body, She just wants
it gone. All of it, the bump that she's sucked in every day of
her life for the past five or six years. The jealousy of 90% of the
female population. She hates it, but she can't help it. The body
that is almost perfect, so close, but too far, so she waits, and keeps
struggling through the bad looks, the pains, all of it, just to
get rid of it all. Just for an end. We could cit around and feel
bad for her, but shes not worth it, she doesn't want any one's
attention, she doesn't want any one's pity. She wants less than more
really, less of her body, less of her mind, less of herself. She wants to
care less of what they say, she wants to forget about what it was
like. Just to be ten years old again, then again this personal
discomfort with herself had started long before she was ten.
Well sometimes it burns
Baby I'll wash it out
It all look so big
Never mind, I don't feel anything

Feeling so easy
Make me skin and bones
I'm always on my knees for you
You break like it's even
When you're leaving and
Thin, where the hell have you been?